I recently got into a heated argument with a friend when I mentioned that I wasn’t a feminist. I told her that the concept of feminism is so twisted today, people have forgotten the real meaning of what it really was. That I stand for something bigger and more important than just feminism. That if I’m going to fight, I’m going to fight once and I’m going to fight for everyone. I’m not doing this one step at a time. I’m sick of fighting one battle after another. I’d rather fight it all together. I’d rather win it all at once.
She didn’t understand what I was talking about.
I’ve been whistled at. I’ve gotten paid less than the boy who worked half as much as I did at an event. I’ve been groped inappropriately on public transport and been told to ignore it because, “Girls need to have shame.” I’ve been limited with choices because I was born a female. I was told to wear loose clothes that covered it all because I am a woman. My opinions have been ignored. My comments have been undervalued. Everything I am has always been less important because I am not a man.
But when the world stands up to talk about Gender Equality, I find myself unable to relate.
Do you see what’s missing in that quote? Do you see where the world is going wrong with the words “Gender Equality”?
We’re missing an entire gender!
The first time I understood the harsh reality of how the world treated the third gender was in an elevator in a foreign country. A transgender man walked in and wasn’t treated differently. People didn’t take one step away from him. And I was awestruck. That shouldn’t be abnormal but it was. That an elevator full of people were immune to the fact that he was ‘different’ was something so surreal. It showed me how we alienated them everyday. And that’s not Gender Equality.
I saw a transgender woman on a reality tv show say, “If someone calls me ‘Sister,’ I feel like my day has been made. Like they have accepted my gender. I’m only human.” Isn’t that the most basic human courtesy to accept the other person’s core identity? Yet, to her, that would be considered a blessing. Is that Gender Equality?
Do you know how long it took the government to accept the third gender?
Do you know the world’s biggest social media platform, Facebook, only has the option of “Female” and “Male” when signing up?
That if I’m whistled at, they’re called names?
That if my time isn’t valued, their life isn’t valued?
No. I’m not saying their struggle is more important than mine. I’m not taking away the seriousness from mistreatment of women. I’m simply bringing to your attention that there’s someone else who’s going through worse. And if I’m going to use the word Gender Equality, then I will include every human being in it.
The girl whose dreams weren’t as important as her brother’s. The transgender man whose identity was suppressed with fear. The woman whose life was spent serving one after another. The transgender woman who couldn’t get into university because of her gender.
I don’t care how much hatred I get in the comments.I don’t care how my own friends will stand against me for not calling myself a feminist.
Because the truth is, I am not a feminist.
I am an equalist.
I believe in equalism. I believe in human equality. Across all genders.
If I have to stand up for someone, I’m going to stand up for everyone.
Equal opportunities.
Equal choices.
Equal respect.
Equal pay.
Not just for me. Not just for my gender. For everyone.
Because equality is not just a topic of conversation. It is a problem. And I am done fighting them one gender at a time.
#equalism
“Gender equality is not a women’s issue.
It is a human issue. It affects us all.”
Loud Thoughts Voiced Out 
Exactly! I was going to add this topic ‘feminism’ as another seed of ‘future oppression’ in my blog yesterday which i couldn’t finish though. Thanks you did speak out loud 🙂
Right for everyone!
What a beautiful kind caring well-written post. You must be a truly beautiful lady inside and out.
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Nice post! Keep writing 🙂
I believe in equity first and equality next though.
See I can’t boil a stone, but my girlfriend can. So I appreciate what she brings on the table same as she appreciates me.
Nice post.
I love this post. As with any issue people are fighting for one group, but then fail to acknowledge another. Until very recently I had no idea what transgender even was. So I think getting people informed and pushing for the term “equalism” is great. However with the way the world works sometimes you gotta take it one fight at a time. Great post!
Very interesting post! I am both a feminist and an equalist, which I think are one and the same. I don’t believe women’s rights are more important than the rights of any other group – men, people of color, the LGBT community. I think all people should be treated with respect, paid the same for equal work, walk the streets without fearing for your life, allowed to love who you want. I guess I’m not sure why I can’t believe this and still be a feminist.
I really liked it! You have written so well. I completely agree with you. In fact, this is the ideology that I’ve been thinking about for very long time and I stand by it. Well written! Truly, truly well written.
I love your post…. and I love the concept of equalist. I totally agree with what you have said here. And even if I didn’t I believe I would appreciate the way you said it.
I think there are people who make feminism about female supremacy, which it isn’t. I think there are people who can’t see past the stereotype of feminism being peopled with man-haters, or the word itself, which implies that it is only about females. But feminism was a response to something, and was titled as such. It was a response to a patriarchal society where men were the only valued members. So yes, it had to focus on women. But if you look it up, its overall goal is equality for all people: socially, politically, economically. At the time it was picking up speed, women were so oppressed that they HAD to focus on gaining power for females. Not only that, but transgender issues just weren’t discussed as much back then. But they absolutely are now! Third wave feminism is all about accepting all people from all walks of life (look up the term intersectionality) now that a lot of fundamental women’s rights have been accomplished. Us feminists absolutely do care about transgender rights, one hundred percent. It’s a shame that some people give feminism a bad rep, but it’s our responsibility to inform and readjust the perspective of others.
I just wanted to keep reading!
*squeals* thank you. Please do keep reading 😀
This one hits really close to home. As a woman, and a woman in tech on top of that, I witness the inequality on a daily basis. I mostly agree with your views, especially in the fact that I wouldn’t call myself a feminist either, even though I care about this issue a lot. Where I struggle is how to make every gender feel equally worthy when we’re essentially really not equal (and that’s the beauty of life) and we do have different needs. Equal pay for equal work is a pretty straightforward principle, but what about maternity leave for example?
I stand for fair treatment, no more no less…. feminism can be subjective.
I loved it! Please do continue writing thought provoking essays like these and hopefully one day, gender equality won’t be a far etched dream. ❤ 🙂 Xx
This is an amazing post. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I completely understand why you feel the way you do. I also respect the fact that you wrote this blog post. Great job, keep up the excellent work! I look forward to reading more of your blog posts in the future!
Great post… thanks for sharing.
I just read a post about a woman in New York who is ‘fighting’ for gender equality in the corporate boardroom.
Not the same story… but interesting as well.
Have a look if you like:
https://janiceellig.wordpress.com/2016/07/25/gender-diversity-in-the-boardroom-janice-ellig/