#Equalism

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I recently got into a heated argument with a friend when I mentioned that I wasn’t a feminist. I told her that the concept of feminism is so twisted today, people have forgotten the real meaning of what it really was. That I stand for something bigger and more important than just feminism. That if I’m going to fight, I’m going to fight once and I’m going to fight for everyone. I’m not doing this one step at a time. I’m sick of fighting one battle after another. I’d rather fight it all together. I’d rather win it all at once.

She didn’t understand what I was talking about.

I’ve been whistled at. I’ve gotten paid less than the boy who worked half as much as I did at an event. I’ve been groped inappropriately on public transport and been told to ignore it because, “Girls need to have shame.” I’ve been limited with choices because I was born a female. I was told to wear loose clothes that covered it all because I am a woman. My opinions have been ignored. My comments have been undervalued. Everything I am has always been less important because I am not a man.

But when the world stands up to talk about Gender Equality, I find myself unable to relate.

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Do you see what’s missing in that quote? Do you see where the world is going wrong with the words “Gender Equality”?

We’re missing an entire gender!

The first time I understood the harsh reality of how the world treated the third gender was in an elevator in a foreign country. A transgender man walked in and wasn’t treated differently. People didn’t take one step away from him. And I was awestruck. That shouldn’t be abnormal but it was. That an elevator full of people were immune to the fact that he was ‘different’ was something so surreal. It showed me how we alienated them everyday. And that’s not Gender Equality.

I saw a transgender woman on a reality tv show say, “If someone calls me ‘Sister,’ I feel like my day has been made. Like they have accepted my gender. I’m only human.” Isn’t that the most basic human courtesy to accept the other person’s core identity? Yet, to her, that would be considered a blessing. Is that Gender Equality?

Do you know how long it took the government to accept the third gender?

Do you know the world’s biggest social media platform, Facebook, only has the option of “Female” and “Male” when signing up?

That if I’m whistled at, they’re called names?

That if my time isn’t valued, their life isn’t valued?

No. I’m not saying their struggle is more important than mine. I’m not taking away the seriousness from mistreatment of women. I’m simply bringing to your attention that there’s someone else who’s going through worse. And if I’m going to use the word Gender Equality, then I will include every human being in it.

The girl whose dreams weren’t as important as her brother’s. The transgender man whose identity was suppressed with fear. The woman whose life was spent serving one after another. The transgender woman who couldn’t get into university because of her gender.

I don’t care how much hatred I get in the comments.I don’t care how my own friends will stand against me for not calling myself a feminist.

Because the truth is, I am not a feminist.

I am an equalist.

I believe in equalism. I believe in human equality. Across all genders.

If I have to stand up for someone, I’m going to stand up for everyone.

Equal opportunities.

Equal choices.

Equal respect.

Equal pay.

Not just for me. Not just for my gender. For everyone.

Because equality is not just a topic of conversation. It is a problem. And I am done fighting them one gender at a time.

#equalism

“Gender equality is not a women’s issue.

It is a human issue. It affects us all.”

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“Homosexuality – Love in its purest form : Illegal”

I don’t know about the rest of the world, but when I watched fairytales as a kid, I didn’t really melt over the concept of a man and woman getting together. I connected with the love that lasts happily ever after. That kind of love that saw no bounds. Like the love from a mother to her child, the love you feel for your first best friend, the love you have for someone that helped you when you were living your worst nightmare, the love you have for your father, your siblings..

Ultimately, the love you feel when you find that one person that fires up your heart. The person who makes your eyes shine with unknown emotions every time they walk in to the room. The person who brings you out of your shell and makes you feel comfortable in your own skin. Someone who accepts you for who you are instead of what they want you to be.

That’s how one feels about their hometown as well. It’s the place that saw you through your good times and bad. The place that lit you up when you felt low. The place where you grew up. The place where you learnt good from bad. The place where you figured out who you are.. The reason it holds that soft spot in your mind is because no matter where you go or who you become, if you ever forget yourself, you come back home and it’ll remind you..

But imagine not having the ability to be yourself at home? The place that’s supposed to support you is now asking you to retreat your steps until you’re back in that closet.. Now, shut the door and hide there. Because if you dare to walk out, you’ll be jailed.

I woke up this afternoon and did the first thing I do everyday. Facebook. The first post on my NewsFeed :-

“Homosexuality illegal : Supreme Court.”

It took me a good two minutes to gather my thoughts and my emotions and I realized, I wasn’t just hurt or upset. I was outraged. This was by far the most ridiculous thing my country had ever done. Which was surprising considering how many they’ve been doing lately. Every time my mother left my country to go visit another one she would say, “Nothing like India. The friendliness, the hospitality, the love.. You can’t find it anywhere else.” Today, I had something to prove her wrong. Because, today, my country had chosen not to support love. Today, my country shut its doors on kids, adults that were not like them. Today, my country chose to say I will love you for what I want you to be, not for who you are. Today, my country decided to turn its back on the people that need its acceptance and love the most.

Remember that feeling I was talking about? That love that turns your world upside down? Making you look at things differently and feel things differently? Here’s the problem with that. Your emotions don’t see what the world and your brain asks you to. Your emotions don’t know caste, race, ethnicity or gender. Your emotions don’t understand the difference between a man, a woman and a transgender. Like the famous romantic-comedy movie title, Love Happens.. You can’t stop it and you can’t run away from it and you sure as hell cannot turn it off just because the people around you think it’s unnatural, immoral and “disease spreading.”

I would like to think that well-educated, well-knowledged people would have the ability to understand something this simple. LOVE IS LOVE. No matter who you are, where you’re from, what you do or how you look. Homosexuality is proof for that.

Someday, this decision will change. Someday, my country, like many others, will pick love over laws. Until that day, I will stand strong and fight for those people who deserve the chance to love and be loved. I will fight till those closet doors break open. I will fight till the people around me can turn those doors to wings and fly high, showing off who they are, with pride, for every one to see. Until that day..