Tag: valentine

Dear You

21 Comments

Screen Shot 2016-02-13 at 11.30.55 pm

Dear You,

You’re probably wondering why I’m writing this. You’re wondering what could be so difficult to say in person that I have to write about it. You’re maybe even wondering why you’re the one reading this. But bear with me this once because I can’t explain clearly what I don’t really understand. Yet here I go, trying to do just that.

It’s been six years. Six years since I looked at someone and thought to myself I think I have a crush on this guy. Six years since I wondered what it’d be like to go on a first date again. Six years since I’ve felt anything but love that terrifies your very soul. And I don’t really know how to do this. But I’m trying.

I fell in love. The crazy kind. I went on a first date. I felt butterflies. I texted all night. I giggled silly. I blushed through the day. I fell in love. And I had my heart broken. Ruthlessly. I told myself, “Never again.”

But then I fell in love again. The one-sided kind. There was no first date. There were no butterflies. I cried all night. I begged him to say Yes. I fell in love again. And I shattered into a million pieces.  Irreparably. I knew in my soul, “Never again.”

Dear You,

It’s difficult to rise from a lost love. I’m rising from two. I had the man dreams are made of and I lost him. I had the man I couldn’t stop dreaming of and I never stood a chance. You see, it’s not been easy for me.

But you know what they say. Time mends a broken heart. Maybe they’re right. For, I don’t wake up in the morning and think of him anymore. But somewhere along the day, I think of you.

I’m not in love. No. But I’m still scared. I have scars that run deep and a heart that’s healing. And I don’t know how to make sense of it all. I don’t know how to tell you of all the ways you’re helping me get better without scaring you away. I’m nervous, I guess you could say. But there’s so much more to this.

Dear You,

He said I have that look on my face. The one where he knows it’s your text I’m reading. We weren’t even flirting. But you bring about that smile I haven’t felt in a while.

And it’s not like you don’t know. I’ve said it in so many words and more. Yet it feels like there’s words to say that haven’t been spoken. Emotions that haven’t been felt. And I know you’re healing too.

But Dear You,

Waiting doesn’t help. Longing doesn’t make this better. You may think I don’t understand. But I do. I know this isn’t easy. Rebound never was. I know we both need time. Patience at most.

Patience to take this slow. Patience to understand. Patience to figure this out.

So I won’t ask you mighty things. I’ll ask you the simple ones.

Dear You,

Hold my hand. In the middle of road. In that all-too-awkward way.

Dear You,

Send me a text. In the middle of the day. And surprise me beyond say.

Dear You,

Catch my fingers. In the middle of a conversation. I promise I’ll blush all day.

Dear You,

Ask me out. In the middle of this sentence. And I swear I’ll say Yes.

Dear You.

 

___________________________________________________________

Write a love letter campaign by Chennai Bloggers Club

 

The Moment That Counts

29 Comments

In a world where dating is fast and speed dating is lightning, I feel out of depth as I wish for the 70’s and the idea of courting someone special.

Relationships are work. I realized a few years ago that finding someone so perfect that everyday feels like a dream is like finding the perfect drop of water in the ocean. It may exist for all you know, but doesn’t it sound funny and unrealistic when said out loud?

I want him, forever. I love the sound of that sentence. I cannot wait to look at someone and feel that way. But do you know how complicated those beautiful words are?

I often wondered why people parted ways. Why someone looks at the other person and says, “I love you so much, but this isn’t working.” How can it not work if there is love? I am also the person that sat across my best friend and said, “I know you love him. But is that enough to take you through a lifetime?”

Valentine’s Day is the day I dread every year. The big day of love. I don’t have someone buying me roses 365 days of the year. But somehow it stings only once. I had a million ideas about what to post. I considered the power of being single as a very realistic topic but in all honesty, I would have been writing a bucket load of crap, even according to me.

So I looked around trying to find inspiration to write something. Anything. I was going through Pinterest, WeHeartIt and had finally gotten on to Tumblr when this feeling hit me. After three hours of scrolling through images, I turned to my left. The view put an unknowing smile on my face and I cannot begin to explain the number of times I’ve felt this way.

Love. It’s what I feel every time I look at him. It’s what he feels when I walk through the door after a long day of work. It’s the smile on my face at the sight of him curled up near me.

I almost hate him at times. He drives me so crazy. I am a cleanliness freak and he has a way of messing up everything. He puts a stink in my room that I can never get rid of. He fights with me over the simplest of things. He irritates me by never striking a pose as I try to take a picture with him. He has so much energy one day and refuses to get out of bed the next.

And yet, when I’m at work, I find myself wondering what he’s doing at that very moment. I feel the need to come home and tell him I missed him like a crazy person. I’m sure he doesn’t understand the words. He doesn’t understand what I’m trying to tell him. But he knows I’m there and I’m going to stay there.

It’s not always easy. It’s not always kisses and hugs. But that’s what makes this so amazingly perfect. The fact that I could screw up and he will not judge me. The fact that he can create a completely ridiculous mess and I will still love him.

I lived my entire life believing this is how relationships are made.

They’re not easy. They’re delicate and dainty. You have to handle them with care. You have to treat it with importance and patience. You have to believe that everything can be worked out.

Because the world will never stop rushing to find the next BIG thing. But you have to remind yourself to stop. Breathe. And take in the moment. Because these moments are the ones we forget easily. These are the ones we won’t remember when sitting around a crowd and laughing it off years later.

But this moment, when I turned left and I saw him curled up next to me, this is the moment I will miss when I’m sitting by myself on a warm Sunday afternoon.

This is the moment I will wish for on my worst day.

Because this is the secret to the perfect relationship. This is what gets us through a difficult phase. This moment when you realize that the world can run if it wants, but you just want to plant your feet on the ground and take the view in.

The best time of your relationship isn’t the one on the video or the photo. It’s not the one you remember by a ring or a souvenir. It’s not the one where you’re surrounded by a flashmob.

The best moment of your relationships is the one that only you’ll know. That only you’ll see..

Dala