You’ve spent so many years looking forward to this phase of your life. And it always looked so cool. So glamorous. So filled with love and laughter.
Yet here you are. With knowledge that it’s anything but.
It’s messy buns and messier lives. It’s baggy shirts and overflowing laundry bags. It’s a lot of work and never enough money. It’s freedom with responsibilities. And life is no longer what it seemed.
Different people are doing different things.
Your best friend’s getting married. Your old classmate is killing it with success. Your ex is happy in love. Your old mate is drowning in drugs. Different people are doing different things. But not you. You’re just existing. You’re getting through everyday a little better than the last. But then you have days where you can’t get up at all.
You spend your Friday evenings holed up in a corner because you’re too responsible to drink your night away. Too control freakish to lose yourself to someone else’s tunes. But somehow, this isn’t enough. This life you’re living doesn’t feel complete. Loneliness wraps around you like a blanket you love and you wonder where you went wrong. Why you became different to everyone else.
“Did I do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Was there a reason why it was never me? Is this going to be the rest of my life? Alone? Unsuccessful? Filled with dreams that never come true?”
And your hands reach out to your phone. One text. One call. To that someone who might make you feel pretty. Who might make you feel important. And your need takes over.
The need to feel accepted. To feel appreciated. To feel adored. To feel loved.
And it is so strong, you forget your sanity for a few minutes of flattery. You lessen your worth for dishonest words. The hurt in your heart, camouflaged. If only for a few seconds.
But it’s never enough. And when you wake up, it’s worse. The hammering of your heart so loud in your ears. A memory of last night frustratingly haunting. Yet another mistake. Yet again.
You scream hateful words to yourself. When will I ever learn? You go over those messages. Those conversations. How you fell right back into a ditch when you knew better. Just for a moment, you wish you weren’t yourself.
And in that moment, read these words:
Breathe. It’s not so bad. You think I don’t understand. But I do. Because I’m there, too. I’ve made that call. I’ve texted that wrong person. I’ve woken up with regrets. I still do. I’ve felt the need to be held. I’ve felt that silent green monster towards a friend in love.
Yes, we all make those mistakes. And we all think nobody else does. But they do.
So please, don’t hate yourself. And don’t stop. Don’t stop loving with all you have. Don’t stop wishing on every shooting star. Don’t stop dreaming of fairytales and being as amazing as Malala Yousafzai. You might not always get there, but don’t stop.
You have so much left to do. You have a world filled with life waiting to happen. You have books to be read. Steps to be taken. Places to see. People to meet. You haven’t lived half your life yet. There’s so much ahead. And in ten years, when you look back, you’ll wish you were here again.
So don’t waste it wallowing in your own sadness. Don’t lose yourself to your self-pity and non-existent boundaries. Use everyday. And I don’t mean spend thousands of dollars and visit the North Pole. I know how you’re struggling to make ends meet.
Do the simple things. Stop procrastinating. Take a walk with nature. Go to the gym. Read your favorite book for the millionth time. Watch a movie. Write your novel. Sketch until you’re better than the best. Eat like you’re dying tomorrow. And most importantly, make mistakes. Your heart will heal. But today will never be back again. Don’t live with “Could-have-been’s.” Take chances.
And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember – It’s okay to be alone.
There is time to let your life revolve around someone else. But today, let it revolve around you.
Not because you can’t find someone. Not because you can’t be loved.
But because you deserve to wake up with a smile. You deserve to live life. To make memories so wild, you’ll be the coolest grandparent they’ve ever known.
Breathe. It’s only your mid-20’s.
You’re going to be alright.
Loud Thoughts Voiced Out 
I’ll be honest, i never usually open subscriptions emails but I’m glad I clicked on yours today. I needed to read this. Im struggling and you described me to a T. But this made me feel like I’m not alone and hopefully I’ll be better soon. Thank you ❤
I can relate myself to this.
Doe that make me a girl?
I just love reading your posts
Haha. No. I did hear quite a few guys say they can relate to it but since this is predominantly more towards a girl, I left the title as is. I’m so flattered. Please don’t stop reading. 😀
Haha. No. I did hear quite a few guys say they can relate to it but since this is predominantly more towards a girl, I left the title as is. I’m so flattered. Please don’t stop reading. 😀
I feel this way many times.
I am pretty sure guys can relate too 👴👴.
Well articulated!!
Thank you so much 😀
I am so relaxed after reading “Yes, we all make those mistakes. And we all think nobody else does. But they do.” I am glad i have a company!
That’s the biggest thing to realize I think. That whatever we think we’re alone in, we’re not. (Unless you’re in a scary empty room and you feel like you’re not alone. In that case, run!)
Thank you for reading!
xx
Wonderfully written as ever. Such well spoken and true words.
Thank you so much! 😀
Thank you so much for this Poornima. Every line resonated with me so deeply – it is what I needed right now. To feel like, curling up in my shell isn’t that bad – I’m not alone. I have me.
I’m so glad ❤
This is comforting, to know I’m not the only one who feels that way. This is exactly what a lot of people need, myself included. Well written and inspirational in a way.
Thank you so much 😀 I’m so happy to know I’m not alone in this either. 😀
I’m so glad i read this.
You should edit the title to “to the person in the mid 20s”
I’m not there yet but these fears are already growing. These words helped 🙂
When I wrote it, I honestly did not think any guy would relate to it at all. And by the time I realized it, it had sort of stuck. So I let it be. I’m so glad they’re helping!
Thank you for reading. 🙂
Beautifully written. So relatable. There is a connect all of us feel with the most random of things sometimes..and your article is one such. Continue writing..:-)
Thank you so much 😀
xx
It’s amazing. Well articled must read by all girls
Once in a while I come across a post like this where it would have been no different if I’d written it myself. Beautifully put, so relatable. Cheers! Don’t stop being amazing. (:
This is wonderfully written! I can totally relate to it. I am currently going through this phase! Thank you, you’re so right, It is okay to be alone :)!
Wow!! This is so relatable and exactly what I am going through from A to Z. Thank you. Thank you! I needed this kind of encouragement. Not that I am blue being alone but sometimes my mind gets the better out of me. This post is like a light at the end of the tunnel.
so happy m not alone…not the only one to mess things up…not the only one to make huge mistakes….not the only one sitting alone…waiting for life to happen…
Lovely write up….feeling better,, 🙂
Thank you… Made my day…
Now that i know its ok to b alone. Thank you so much poornima…Glad i have read it!
Well written. Continue doing a good job!
Thnx…. Feeling better after reading ..its relates alot to my life..👍🏻
Thank you. You just shot me with the antidote I needed
wow amazingly written and so true..:)
I have never read something that put my thoughts so clearly into words.
I think I needed this today. I am not alone and that’s worse I guess, cause even then sometimes these thoughts just engulf me and question me.
I know I have so much many people don’t have and that I should push myself out of my box. But its always how do I do that? How do I let go responsibilities?
Okay, I can cry now.
This was so emotional 🙂 Love reading your blog
Until the very moment that I had not read this, I was this girl. Envious of a friend’s success, constantly checking my phone to see if ‘he’ has texted back yet. But now, after reading this, I know I am not alone, I know that there are millions others who are fighting the same monsters that I am, and that somehow, makes me feel better.
Well said👏
Guess thats applicable to guys also. 🙂
I m glad I read this. This is what I needed badly.. n dis mid 20 is actually like worse than teenage.. but the article really made me felt good
Thanks.
🙂
Wonderfully written.. 🙂 I am sure many of us in mid-20s can relate to this 🙂 🙂
Its Incredibly amazing and beautifully written!
I’m soooo glad I opened it up to Read! Every word in there moved me sooo much! Happy to know I’m probably nt the only 1 feeling the way I feel! N that just make me feel a lot better!!
Thank you so much for writing this! 😊
Thank you so much. I so needed to read this. Iam 26 now and afraid my life isnt going anywhere. Each line resonated within. The one about waking up with regrets did the hardest. This gives me strength to not do it again. I am glad I read this. Love.
Amazingly written.. you put ur thoughts in ur words.. inspiring for me.. n i ll definitely read ur this article whenever i feel alone or sad.. thanks.. 🙂
Beautifully written and so true.
I can relate to it so much. Thanks for writing this. Beautiful needed to read that. 🙂
Reblogged this on Moupiya Vibha Ukil.
Reblogged this on Moupiya Vibha Ukil.
Lovely blog!!
Thnx 🙂
wow this is so nice..i loved reading it. there are times when i say these to myself like i am doing well, i am yet to experience the most beautiful moments in my life, i have yet to meet some of the most amazing people…! phew!! most of the times it work out fine but i will also not deny that there are times when i feel even these positives thoughts are not helping me out on my dark days.. and i started to think am i alone in this journey? fighting a mental battle within me..! i am so glad i am not alone! your post is like a stress-buster for me! thanks for writing this 🙂
This is one of things that so many of us go through, but somehow accepting it, learning to be better than the pit you’re stuck is so hard to articulate and even feels shameful at times. I’m so glad to have read this, makes me feel a little less lonely. A little less desperate that I’m not the only one stuck in this limbo or hell that there seems to be no way out of.
Thank you so much for writing this.
I’m a guy and I can relate. Thanks for the good writing 🙂
My current situation. Learning to accept and make an effort towards change. You write really well and kinda remind me of Punam Patel from Kevin from work no idea why 🙂
This. This is everything and so much more.
So beautifully written, Poornima. Good luck x
reveriesofamillennial.wordpress.com
one of the best that I’ve ever read.and unforgettable words……Your heart will heal……..;) nice work…..
Thank you. Great to know even if I live in a different continent, I am not alone. Sharing this with friends because I know they will benefit from this too. Saving it for future reference as well.
Be blessed.
Very well articulated ! 🙂 I so needed this today ! Thank you ! 🙂 Keep writing !
Thank you.. I am not the only one..
Thanks for the beautiful article. You just spoke my mind. Keep it up 🙂
Wow, just wow. It takes nerves to get back up and understand one’s own worth after such a phase. An extremely inspiring piece <3.
Lovely… 👌👌👌
wow…this is amazing…i nevr knew i wud read, all that i feel evryday, in someone else’s words…dat too evry single feeling described sooo perfectly..i fell blessed that i read it..now m not alone..