Tag: rambling

The Lonely Goose

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Facebook, over the past year, has been taking us down memory lane. A recent trip took me to this status message:

Screen Shot 2016-03-20 at 7.10.07 PM

Romantic as it is, it also reminded me of something – I haven’t been in a relationship in five years. I’ve been in love, of course, but it never grew outside of my heart.

And if you’re as emotional as I am, you probably understand the desire to avoid that grey area in your love life. The one where you’re with someone without being with them. The moment your heart flutters at their name but you can’t call them yours. The physical and the emotional Friend with Benefits.

I can’t do that. I’m too serious. Too emotional. Too insecure. I need that security blanket we call a relationship. It may not last forever. I may know that the term ‘girlfriend’ will never turn into ‘fiancé’ or ‘wife’ even. But I still need that promise. That commitment. Even if it’s just for a little while.

And so exists those evenings. The ones we all have. The ones we can’t avoid. The ones we, as single people in our twenties, endure without a choice.

Yes, I’m talking about all you single people struggling to make ends meet with that all-too-insufficient money you’re making while working four times harder than the guy who makes four times the money you make and would just love to come home to someone for that oh-so-amazing hug but you can’t because you don’t have the time for a relationship and when you do, there isn’t someone who wants to date you!

I know how that feels! I know those long evenings where you’re struggling to not make that desperate call to that person you know is the wrong one. And it’s not because you’re horny, no. It’s because you just want to cuddle up on a comfortable couch and watch that crappy series finale of How I Met Your Mother and use that as an excuse to make out like teenagers who’re too afraid to get to second base while in the real world, they’re getting everywhere we aren’t.

It’s torture, isn’t it?! Your arms craving to hold someone. Your lips tingling to be kissed in that comforting, not-ending-in-sex way. Only, you’re sitting alone and you tell yourself – This is better. This means I’m going to end up with someone right. All this will make sense when I’m old enough to find the right one. When I have the time to find the right one. – And you believe it! You believe that little pep talk about the future and decide to distract yourself by logging on to Facebook and Voila! She’s not pretty. He was always an asshole. But here they are. Happy. In love. And you hate being jealous but “How does this person who is just not nice in life find love so fast and I can’t even find a boyfriend pillow?!”

I know how that feels. And if there’s anything that makes this worse, I know what it is.

LOVE SONGS AND ROMCOM MOVIES.

Adam Sandler, with his egg shaped head, goes on FIFTY first dates within 3 hours. You.. You can’t find one date if you lived to be fifty. So you turn off the TV and put on some loud music and try to dance your woes away. There’s only one problem.

Your playlist’s agenda of the day is to make yours worse. So your time away from all things that remind you of your singledom completely and utterly destroys you the moment your earphones blast Landon Austin, in all his glory, singing Once in a Lifetime and you’re wishing. You’re praying. That in that moment this would all fade away. That the Earth would open up and you’d be sucked into a vortex where it’s never lonely. Maybe become a part of NASA’s sleep for 72 days program so the need to walk becomes so high, you no longer want to cuddle. Or maybe take a family vacation! Surround yourself with enough drama and at the end of it, you’d scream at the idea of people!

Yes, I know what this feels like. This evening of being so miserably single that you’re almost ready to just give in and call that person who will be the biggest mistake of your life.

And I’m here to tell you, don’t do it.

Because right now, it sounds about perfect. But tomorrow, when you’re in the middle of an important meeting trying to embarrass the guy who makes more money by working less and your phone buzzes constantly getting you cold stares from every person in the room, you’ll wish you’d listened to me.

Better a lonely goose than an underpaid office clown.

 

 

 

 

 

New Year Ramblings

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It’s a new year again ! It’s a new beginning. New relationships, new friendships, new entertainment, new disasters and renewed resolutions.

When you count down the last few seconds, it’s so exciting. It’s the end of an entire year. It’s time to make some new memories. It’s the start of something new, something different, something perfect and 3, 2, 1…

Hi. It’s the exact same life you had ten seconds ago.

Because this is the truth we refuse to see. The truth behind every failed New Year’s Resolution.

On the 31st of December 2014, I was not a member at any gym across the city for one exact reason – I’m a lazy bum. About ten minutes before midnight, I had not travelled to any of the places on my bucket list because – I have no savings and no way of getting some anytime soon. When the clock read 11:59:50PM – I hated adventure and things that weren’t planned to the very last detail.

And unfortunately, at midnight, there was no fairy godmother waving her magic wand to change any of it.

When we bring in a new year, we make all these plans. We expect to become healthier and smarter and make better decisions. We tell ourselves that our lives will no longer be what it was. We’re going to re-organize the drama, find a way to lose the weight, save a lot of money and do all the things we couldn’t do last year. And amidst the chaos and excitement, we forget that the only thing that will be different the next morning is that one digit on our calendar.

Change doesn’t happen with the date or time. It doesn’t happen when a year ends. It doesn’t happen when the clock strikes midnight. Change happens from within us. If we really want to become healthier, we have to attempt to eat and live a healthier life. If we want to travel the world, the money isn’t going to magically appear in our bank accounts. We have to consider a way to save, starting today. And as for changing who we are, it’s not always necessary but if it is, it definitely has to start from the inside.

So this New Year, instead of trying to change everything drastically within the first month, try to take up one oath. That you will make small changes everyday. A change so small that it might be insignificant today but will make a big difference 365 days from now. Let this be the year where you keep up your resolutions, not because you made easy ones but because you made logical ones. And I hope this year has more happy and proud memories than all that’s been so far.

And while we’re on that note, I just wanted to share with you something I’ve been doing for the past two years and have taken on again this year.

The Happy Box :

The Happy Box doesn’t have to be a particularly nice one. It can be anything from a recycled shoe box to an old tin you found lying around. Every time you feel joy and happiness, write it down along with the date and put it in your Happy Box along with some money. It doesn’t have to be big amounts. Can even be 1 cent / paise if that’s all you can manage. On January 1st 2016, open the box. We make so many memories throughout the year. Some of them are forever etched in our brains, while others are lost in a sea of thoughts and emotions. This will be a good way to look back on those lost moments as well as a way of saving money, even if it’s just a little bit. So come a new year, you get to re-live the best moments that you’d forgotten and spend the money you saved. This was my unboxing day :

Happy Box 2014

One of the things I’d forgotten about last year, that I was reminded of through a happy box note, was a very normal day spent with family, laughing about childhood memories a few hours before my cousin went back to the US. Do let me know what your happiest moments from last year were and if you think the Happy Box is something you would do.

Once again, Happy New Year you guys ! Last year was absolutely amazing and Thank You SO MUCH for all the positivity you sent my way. I had a post I really wanted to put up this week but I felt like the first post of a new year needed to be much more happier and lighter. So until next week..

Sending a lot of love your way ❤