Tag: love

Poems from the Past

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It has been a rather sick week and I didn’t get out of bed for the most part. The only two things that kept me company was my sketchbook and this little guy :

Dala

As someone that gets bored very, VERY easily, staying in bed is possibly not the ideal way I’d like to spend my days.  As and when I felt even a little better, I tried to do something or the other. One of those things was to clean up my old bookshelf. I swear, bookshelves are the only thing, no matter how much you throw away, they still make you feel like a hoarder. And amidst those books, I found a special something.

We all have those things we loved doing when we were younger but just quit with time. Things we quit for no reason. The thing I quit was writing poems.

I used to love to write poems. I was in 3rd grade, I think, when I started. I stopped when I went to university. I don’t know if I grew out of it or something. I just randomly stopped. I highly doubt I’ll ever start again. I’m one of those people that just keeps finding fault with her stuff. So I’m possibly going to tear up page after page if I every try again. But anyway, when I was cleaning, I found my old poetry book. Since I’ve been sick and haven’t really had much thoughts whatsoever to rant about, I thought, I’d share my two favorite poems, from the bunch that I’ve written, with you.

A little background information : The first one was written right before I started university. I’d written a poem for a friend that is pretty much like my brother and the guy I was with at that point made a tantrum asking me to write one for him. So I did and hence, the cheesiness. Please don’t mind. The second one, I wrote when I was in 9th grade. I was about 14 years old, I immensely believed in fairytales and it was written whilst day dreaming about my “knight in shining armor” during Science class.

 

SANTA’S GIFT – 23rd May 2011

“You’ve been a very good girl this year”

“Thank you, Santa”

“Tell me what you want and it’s yours”

“I want..”

 

Ten years down the road

I think of that day

When Santa asked me what I want

And I said “I want..”

 

Time went by

And I lost all trust

In Santa’s honest words

Until that July

 

When I remembered that day

Santa asked me

To tell him what I want

And I said “I want..”

 

The first date, The first kiss,

The first touch.. The way you look at me

The first time my heart itched

To hear you tell me you love me

 

Forever, it’s not enough

But today, I won’t complain

Sometimes, love is rough

But with you, I’m me again.

 

When I was a little kid

Santa gave me one good wish

He asked me what I want

And I said “I want..”

 

“I want an honest man

Someone who will love me for me

Take me to the moon and back

Live his life just for me..”

 

That July I got my wish

When I found you and I realized

Santa thinks before he gives

Something I was mesmerized with.

 

Santa said to a little girl

“You’ve been good, what do you want ?”

She pointed at you and told him softly

“To be everything he’ll ever want..”

 

 

I’LL NEVER LET GO – 2007

If this is a dream,

Let me never wake up.

If this is reality,

Let me never sleep.

 

If this is a maze,

Let me never get out.

If this is the world,

Let me scream and shout.

 

If this is day,

Let the moon never shine.

If this is night,

Let the sun never rise.

 

If this is him,

Let him never go.

If this is me,

I’ll never let go..

 

 

Happy Easter 🙂

Understanding the Differences

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In a world of over-achievers, I’m a mediocre. I live my life in a way that I see fit and not everyone understands or approves of it. But that’s every one of us, isn’t it?!

My brother has a book coming out called Ketchup & Curry. As he explained to me the concept of the book, I started thinking – We live in a world that is unbelievably diverse. What I saw in Los Angeles,  I can never imagine seeing in my city and it works the other way around as well. So what happens when one of us decides to go and live in a place that is filled with people who couldn’t be more different than you are?! How do you live in a foreign country surrounded by people who are unlike you and still live peacefully and happily?

I’ve travelled quite a bit. My passion is to learn and understand different cultures and someday, write about it all. I need to be the most nonjudgmental human being on the planet to pursue a career out of that. Like I’ve mentioned before, my parents raised me saying “thou shall not chill with a man who is not your brother, father, family or betrothed.” When I first moved to a foreign country, the first couple I saw making out on the street were both women. Here’s the culture shock – you don’t kiss people in public. If you’re older than 20, your own father will flinch when you try to kiss his cheek in public. Then comes “OMG ! THAT’S TWO WOMEN !” But I thought that was the most beautiful thing. The freedom to be who they are and not having to hide. I lived there for about four months. When I left, I no longer had the need to judge people for the choices they make out of love. That was the first thing most people didn’t understand.

When I started university, my classes were only a few hours a day. I had plenty of free time on my hands and I spent three quarters of them on YouTube. Have you ever been so bored that you started out with a music video but a few hours later, found yourself in that weird part of youtube? That happened to me. I was watching Paradise by Coldplay and somehow ended up watching videos of people with Gender Identity Disorder and videos of Transgenders and their everyday struggles. In my city, the only kinds of transgenders I’d encountered were the ones who usually come and ask for money. When you say no, they try to bully you into giving them money or whatever it is that you have. So whenever I saw them, I’d get scared and try to walk away. But those videos forever changed my idea of them. I never realized how incredibly nice they can be if you just understand them and accept them. You know when you’re the black sheep in the family and everyone’s giving you the cold shoulder and you just look at them thinking “My friends understand. Why can’t you? Come on ! A little acceptance would be nice!” Imagine living life like that every day. But you’re not just asking your family. You’re asking the entire human race (with the exclusion of a few people here and there) to understand you and accept you. I might not be their best friend, but I stopped running away. I chose to stop and give them an answer when they asked me something. Sure there are some of them that are thieves and cheaters. Tell me a time when a man or woman you trusted wasn’t a thief or a cheater? We’re all human beings and the least we can do is treat each other the way we’d like to be treated. In a society that already lived like that, I learnt to accept them and live in peace. That’s the second thing most people don’t understand.

I still meet people who are completely different from who I am. I meet people who make choices I can never imagine making for myself. “She had six boyfriends in the past” is a statement that is approved in one culture while looked down on in another. Judging the people who disapprove of it isn’t going to make my life any better. But that doesn’t mean I have to change who I am. Every person is entitled to their own opinions. I can’t control my thoughts about things. Similarly, the other person’s thoughts are his own.

I can be cheesy here and say “Please let us love one another.” But that’s a statement that won’t ever work. We can’t all love everything. So let me tell you what I’ve learnt in my life – “Yes, we’re all different. We may not all have the ability to accept our differences and love each other. But the least we can do is to keep the hate to ourselves. Stop the stupid fights on comment sections. Stop comparing. Stop name calling. You do your thing and let them do theirs. If you don’t like something, walk away. It is not your place or in your right to judge someone who likes it. You can go ahead and live your life the way you want to. But the next person’s life is theirs. It’s their choices. It’s their interests and if they screw up, it’s their consequences. Unless you’re asked, don’t give your opinions. It’s as simple as that. Remember, who you are is insignificant when you’re gone. It’s the words you say and the actions you do that you leave behind..”

In a world of over-achievers, I’m a mediocre. I live my life in a way that I see fit and not everyone understands or approves of it. But nobody gets to judge it. Nobody but me.

And that’s the only thing I wish people would understand.

Beauty…

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We all have those unanswered questions we wouldn’t dare ask in fear that someone might call us stupid. Here’s mine : What is beauty? A perfect winged eyeliner? A Picasso painting? A genuine person? A generous heart? Why? Can anybody really explain beauty?

Wikipedia tried : Beauty is a characteristic of a person, animal, place, object, or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure or satisfaction.

Pleasure. Have you read The Fault in our Stars by John Green? That book just about killed me. It was in no way a pleasurable experience. But I thought that book was absolutely beautiful. I cannot explain why.

I decided that the best time to get my question out there without being labelled stupid was now. Hence I started with the closest of friends and family – “I’m doing research for my blog. What, according to you, is beauty?”

I got the typical answers – Beauty is my girlfriend. Beauty is the love of my life. Beauty is a genuine person. Beauty is a loving heart. Beauty is confidence. Beauty is perfection. Beauty is anything that makes you feel good.

Then I asked them “How do you say that? What exactly makes you use the word ‘beauty’ towards those things?”

I got one answer : “I don’t know. I can’t explain.”

That’s the thing. Nobody knows. I was almost on the verge of giving up when someone I know gave me her definition of beauty :

“By the magic of sight , anything which on looking makes me feel fresh.
By the magic of my palette, anything that tastes and gives me the yummy yum yum
By the magic of my nostrils, anything that gives the fragrence which I want to capture”
I didn’t ask her how she came to that conclusion because to me, that answer was beautiful.

She might not have nailed it, but her explanation was something I couldn’t question. Beauty was her accepting the simplicity of the complex things in and around us. Beauty was that she noticed something no other person I know did. Beauty was that she found it magical.

I wish I was someone that could figure it out and give you scientific facts. But I can only talk about what I’ve observed.

When I look at Miranda Kerr, I think she is so cute. When I look at Meryl Streep, I think she is dynamic and utterly gorgeous. But when I look at Angelina Jolie, I think she is beautiful. There was a time when I hated her. But as I realized just how much she gives to the world, I began to love her.

There was an Indian celebrity that I used to love. I thought his talent was unbelievably amazing. His grace so utterly beautiful. A few years ago, his personal life took a hike. His behavior during that period was everything I stand against. From that day, every time I see him do what he does best, I see an asshole. I think to myself “Look at him, trying to cover up his act with grace. He can’t fix what he’s broken.”

I’ve noticed that our perception of a person or a thing changes when the story about them changes. I used to love Romeo and Juliet. It was the most beautiful love story on the planet and an incredible one too. Then I saw the movie Shakespeare in Love. The idea (which I highly doubt is true but is the story of the movie) that Romeo and Juliet was based on an affair that Shakespeare had, ruined the book for me. Ruined the love they shared. Whenever I pick up the book, I no longer feel like I’m reading a beautiful love story. I feel like I’m reading a scandal report of how a man cheated on his wife.

Our emotions define the beauty we see. When the girl we hate looks absolutely perfect, we don’t see beauty. We say “I cannot stand her and her perfection! It’s so fake.” But when the person we love looks like crap, we see a beauty we can’t define.

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. It is in his heart. It is in his emotions. It is in his love.

Beauty is the book that makes his heart yearn. Beauty is the song that reminds him of happiness. Beauty is his family and a place he calls ‘home.’ Beauty is the girl he fell head over heels for. Beauty is his first pet. Beauty is the way his mother takes care of him. Beauty is the doll he’s had on his bed since he was two. Beauty is the unforgettable connection he had with the girl he met at a party weeks ago.

It might be painful. It might hurt you. But if you love it, you’ll find beauty in it. We can’t all love the same person, the same book or the same movie. There arises the difference in our ideas of beauty.

John Green had me falling in love with Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace. He had me falling in love with their stories. With their personalities. And no matter how much that book kills me, I will always love it and I will always think it was beautiful.

Because love doesn’t always come from a place of joy or pleasure. Sometimes love comes from pain and hurt.

And hence we call it Beautiful…

21 Life Lessons I’ve Learnt in 21 Years

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Life has a million things to teach you, everyday. But only some of those lessons make a huge impact on you. These are 21 life lessons I learnt in the past 21 years of my life.

1 – Respect Your Family – They might not be the best set of people out there but they picked up your shit and the least you can do is put up with theirs.

 

2 – Do Not Believe Your Math Teacher – Even if you end up working in Wall Street, you only use simple math. Not :

2xy+345x*375y/234xy=xy*2 -> Prove.

3 – YOLO – Doesn’t particularly mean get drunk, get a tramp stamp and wake up with a stranger. It means make the best of today. A modern “swag” way of saying Carpe Diem !

4 – Enjoy What The World Has To Offer To You – The thing is, your future generation might not have these experiences and it will make for incredible stories someday.

 

5 – Is She The Meanest Teacher You’ve Ever Known? Say Thank You ! – She has given you a whole new list of stories to laugh about in all your class re-unions for the next fifty years to come.

 

6 – The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side – That boy/girl in the next class is always hotter or cuter than the ones in yours. The possibility is, it works vice versa. Your classmates are probably the cutest people the kids in their class have seen !

 

7 – Responsibility Doesn’t Come By Yelling Or Screaming At A Person – When someone keeps losing their stuff or doesn’t help around the house, yelling doesn’t help. Every person needs their time to grow up and become responsible. For some people (coughs *me* coughs) it just takes 21 years.

 

8 – College Is Not A Field Trip – They make it sound like “Oh you’re going to college? You’re going to have so much fun !” NO. Not even a little. Not at all. Sure, you laugh and you joke around but ultimately the definition of college is – brain frying. Nothing will ever beat your school days ! EVER !

 

9 – There Is A Big Difference Between Your First Crush And Your First Love – Just because he gives you butterflies does NOT necessarily mean you’re in love with him. So yes, you’ll get over him when you find someone that gives you an extra butterfly.

 

10 – Your First Break Up And Your First Heartbreak – Yes, you’ve broken up. You’re upset. But you’re not heart broken. There’s a BIG DIFFERENCE ! You’ll learn that when you ACTUALLY get heartbroken. So yes, you’ll get over him when you find someone that gives you an extra butterfly.

 

11 – Being Independent Is A Human Right ! – Until you have to touch your own stinky laundry and cook your own crappy food. I’d rather live at home and let Mom and Dad do that until they’ve had enough of me and decide to kick me out.

 

12 – Yes, That Boy Who Just Asked You Out Is Very Very Cute – But don’t say yes. You’ve known him for less than ten minutes. He could be a drug addict or maybe even a supplier. Especially, if you’re in a foreign country. Please don’t take your chances.

 

13 – Don’t Travel Half Way Across The World For A Boy – It might be the worst mistake you ever make. The cherry on top of the cake? Your family will use that story to get people to laugh at every gathering for the rest of your life !

 

14 – All That Glitters Ain’t Gold – Just because he’s Italian and his accent melts your heart doesn’t mean he will too. He could be the one who shows you what heartbreak feels like.

 

15 – The Quotes On Tumblr, Weheartit, Pinterest, Facebook And Instagram Are Not Meant For You – When Steve Jobs said “The people who believe they can change the world are the ones who do,” he didn’t mean you. He meant himself. So let’s not get over excited about it for the next ten minutes. Ok?

 

16 – Don’t Judge People By Their Looks – The prettiest model is the bitchiest human being and the ugliest girl on the block is the nicest woman you’ll ever meet. And maybe, the person you thought was a total loser probably could’ve helped you in more ways than you know.

 

17 – Enjoy Sibling Rivalry – At some point, you’ll go your separate ways. When you see each other again, you’ll just want to hug and talk. So yes, sibling rivalry has an expiry date. Enjoy it while it lasts.

 

18 – Younger Siblings Are Annoying All Over The World – They’re the most vicious, annoying, tattle-tale, I’m-going-to-borrow-your-stuff-and-lose-it kind of human beings on the planet. But if they went on vacation for a month, you’re going to miss them more than Nemo missed the ocean.

 

19 – Read Books – It sounds like an advise but there’s something about losing yourself in a world you don’t know and yet not feeling scared. No, I’m not talking about the time you walked into a dangerous neighborhood with new-found courage because you were too high to fathom the reality of it all.

 

20 – Listen To Your Dad When He Talks – It might be boring, but somewhere in the middle of all those stories, there are life lessons. And useful things that can save your life should you get into an icky situation.

 

21 – I want you to listen to this carefully..

Never Be Afraid To Say Sorry – There are certain relationships that are worth keeping and if a ‘Sorry’ is going to save it, then don’t be afraid and egoistic. But if they’re the kind of person that’s going to keep hurting you and is so totally not worth it, please, save yourself some dignity. Fold all your fingers. Now pop out the middle one and keep walking. Don’t look back.

 

One life lesson I believe needs to be told –

A BEST FRIEND – One day, you will find that person who understands you, accepts you and is willing to put up with your crazy behavior. The one who’ll hit your head when she finds you falling for the wrong boy. The one who’ll take care of your emotions more than you will. The one who’ll laugh with you and cry with you. The one with whom you probably will have more “moments” than you can ever have with your husband or wife. When you find that person, don’t let them go..

I will forever consider myself lucky for I have two such people in my life..

 

🙂

 

 

“I’m Not A Girl Anymore..”

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Slowly, with life experiences and baby steps, from high school to university to a working environment and the real world, watching our friends grow into adults, observing our changing needs and desires, understanding our lives changing and learning the ability to accept it – this is how a girl, any girl, must realize that she is no longer a girl. That she is indeed a woman.

But this world doesn’t work like that anymore. In this world, women walk around scared and insecure because they have been pushed to grow up. Because our societies have started perceiving us as women before we could even understand the complex simplicity of that word.

The 23-year-old intern in Delhi, gang raped by a boy who shouldn’t have known that much and men who should have known better.  The number of people who pointed their fingers at her for getting in that bus in the first place. Here’s an idea. Maybe, she didn’t know that much yet. Maybe she was still that little girl who believed that the world was filled with superheroes. That every man was a brother, a father, a best friend. That when they look at her, they would see the child that they can befriend, not the body that they can use.

The 24-year-old techie in Chennai, gang raped. People came up with a million reasons. She should’ve known better than to walk alone in the middle of the night. “She should’ve known better.” Ever think that maybe she needed more time to know better? That maybe, just maybe, she didn’t see what the society saw? But we don’t care. She’s 24 ! She’s a woman who should’ve known better !

That’s the thing. Being a certain age isn’t what makes us women. We don’t turn 21 and suddenly say “OHMYGOD ! I’M A WOMAN !” No. We need time, patience, life lessons and lots of experience before we become women.

And no matter what, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EVER JUSTIFIES A MAN TOUCHING A GIRL / WOMAN WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.

I’m still a girl. I’m insecure. I walk in fear of who to trust and who to take three steps away from. I accuse every man who looks my way of wrong thoughts. Just because..

I had to endure a doctor move his hand that inch too close, the man on the street wink and make kissing faces, the guy I’ve known since I was two-years-old ask me if I wanted to “go grab a drink after hours” and the society that tells me that all of the above is my fault. Don’t look. Don’t smile. Don’t wear what you want. Don’t do what you feel like doing. And never ever let a man too close, doesn’t matter who he is.

I honestly don’t know if it’s the society’s fault or the men’s. But I do know that something has to change. Drill it into everyone’s brains if we have to but we need to make them understand that while you’re looking at someone you’d like to use, she’s looking at someone she believes will protect her from someone like you..

Letting go..

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Do you ever have a problem with this? Be it a friend, a crush, a boyfriend, an ex, a family member, a pet or even an object? Do you ever sit in a corner and think of a million reasons that convince you to walk away but hold on to the one thing that makes you stay? Do you ever mentally curse yourself for not having the ability to just say “goodbye” and mean it?

Welcome to my world.

It sounds so simple when people say it. “Let go.” All I can think of replying to them is, “Trust me, if I could I would. But I can’t.” Then my best friend asked me “Why not?”

That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it ? Why not ?!

Why can the father not let go of his 21-year-old daughter? Why can the mother not let go of her toddler’s hand on the first day of pre-school? Why can you not let go of that little dog/cat you’ve had for ten years now? Why can she not let go of the guy who broke her heart? Why can you not let go of your favorite doll you’ve cuddled with since you were a child?

I don’t have answers for this. I don’t even have a  theory. I like knowing that I have an answer, any answer even if it’s not the right one. But I can’t find one for this question.

Now I have this guy. Or rather, had. Actually, scratch that. Let me rephrase that sentence. There was this guy I fell for. He was the most imperfect human being I have ever met. I can find a million things wrong with him, starting with, he made me cry once a week. I know, what was I thinking?! But somehow I couldn’t let go. I’d tell myself, and him, every other week – “I can’t do this anymore. I have to let go. This is killing me. We can’t talk. We can’t be friends.” He eventually stopped caring about it because he knows, the very next morning, I’d call him and tell him I was being stupid. That we should, of course, keep talking. That I’m totally fine. I wasn’t. I still am not. I actually said the exact same thing to him for the hundredth time last night. I’m struggling now.  All I want to do is to pick up the phone and call him. But why?!

Why is it so difficult to let go? I had a chair when I was a kid. A yellow chair. A yellow plastic chair. It was my favorite place to sit for the first eight years of my life and then one fine day, it broke. I duct-taped it. Painted it black (didn’t really look good). I kept it that way for another 6 years before my mom forced me into throwing it away. I cried and cried for days. Made no sense because I hadn’t used it in 4 years. But I couldn’t let go. It was like kissing my childhood goodbye.

That’s why letting go is difficult. When you look at something or someone, it’s not just that person or just that particular thing. It’s not simply a broken chair. It’s a memory. It’s something that’s been a part of our lives and letting go feels like we’re not just saying goodbye to that object or person but to the memory that comes along with them. To that part of our life. It means accepting change.

And change, as we all know, might be inevitable but is possibly the most difficult thing to deal with.

Wish You Were Here

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Recently, my father and I had a long conversation about my grandfather. His life and his struggles.

Do you have that one person you wish you could meet but can’t?

That one person you’ve never met but feel like you know very well. You’ve heard stories about them, people tell you things that person said, you’ve seen pictures. For a lot of people, that person is a celebrity. To me, that person is my grandfather. I’ve never met him. He was long gone by the time I came around. I’ve seen six-seven pictures of him. But I feel like I know him very well.

The world lost him to Cancer. I can’t say I lost him because I’ve never met him. But I would have loved to. There are times when sharing stories about someone, you hear the person say something wrong about them. It’s never intentional. It’s just part of who he/she used to be. But I’ve never heard something like that about my grandfather. I’ve heard about his struggles, I’ve heard his jokes, I’ve heard his wisdom, I’ve heard about his sickness. But never in all those stories has anyone ever said one bad thing about him. That’s the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of him. Someone who made no mistakes. Is it weird that when I think of him, I think of superman? He raised a superman too.

A lot of my conversations with my father include stories about my grandfather. Lessons that were taught or left. One of those things was to live life with principles. To stand by what you believe is right, no matter what the circumstance. If you’ve known me for a while or read my previous blogs, you know that’s a lot similar to what I believe in. Except in my generation I’m called rebellious, not principled. It’s funny. I never met him. There were no videos of him. There was no way for him to have influenced my life on a personal level. But somehow, when I hear stories about him, I know I’m a lot like him. His behavior, his thoughts. My father would beg to differ but I know that if my grandfather was still around, he’d have been someone who would have understood me and supported me. He’d be my kind of person. Like my father is.

In life, you at times land in trouble. My grandfather has taught me that it doesn’t matter how you got there. There are only two ways  to get out of it- The Easy Way, The Right Way. Now remember, anything that comes easy is not here to stay.

He inspires me. When I hear about him, I keep trying to look for similarities. I take pride in knowing I’m a lot like him. Also because it secretly means I’m a lot like my father. I don’t know if my father knows this, but when I hear stories about his dad, I get reminded of him. I can see the day I sit my kids and my grandkids and talk to them about him like he talks about his father to me. It’s cheesy but it’s true. He’s open-minded, like my grandfather was. He’s principled and determined, hardworking and trustworthy, a fighter. He’ll do anything he can to excel at everything. Including fatherhood.

Through my difficult times they’ve helped me. One through stories and the other by just being there to tell me it’ll be fine. Some day, when I’m ready, I’ll go out into the real world. I might not become the next billionaire but thanks to the life lessons, I’ll survive. And when the going gets tough I’ll repeat my grandfather’s words like I do every time I’m in a bad situation :

“This too shall pass”

The Woman I Admire The Most | A Dedication

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In our everyday lives, we are often upset by little things. A little downfall makes us lose all hope and faith. A failure leads to depression. But then there’s Her. Someone who has every reason to pull her hair out and scream at the world. But instead chooses to look at the world in the most positive way one can imagine. She finds joy in the smallest of things. When the world gives her a curve ball, she rises above it and says “Bring it on!” Through her life I’ve learnt that every problem has a solution. You just have to put your brain to work a little.

In the most difficult of times, she finds a reason to throw her head back and laugh. She is the woman every man dreams of marrying someday. Yet her own husband has no idea what she’s worth. But that doesn’t stop her from loving him. She stands by him no matter what. When he falls, she’s there to catch him, to help him up and give him all the energy he needs to rise again. They’ve been through three divorce attempts. I say attempts because every time they get close to one, something stops it. She calls it fate. I call it her love for him.

So many of us talk about how our life has been full of struggles and difficulty. She lost both her parents in the same year. She was only 14 then. Growing up in an over dramatic family with 7 siblings, she found joy in her closest sister. She found a reason to laugh when the rest of the world would have cringed and sunk.

She’s absolutely beautiful. Her laugh infectious. You can be so angry about something and her smile will melt your heart and make you want to smile with her. She’s the kind of person that will never say “No.” She’ll love you when you’re at your best. She’ll love you more at your worst. If you tell her about her incredibly amazing heart, she’ll shake her head no. Not because she’s modest or humble. But because she’s clueless.

Sure, everyone has flaws. So does she. Her flaws being – she can never be disappointed with something. She can never say “I wanted to go to that place, but I couldn’t.” She’ll never argue with you because she’ll always value your relationship and you as a person more than anything in this world. You can betray her and she’ll still give you a second chance. Sometimes, even a third or a fourth. She can handle anything with a smile.

I’ve heard so many people talk about the saying “Be happy with what you get.” I’ve always wondered how many people in this world can actually live like that. Then I saw her. She lives like that. She can be homeless and she’ll find happiness in it. Someone who believes in the small moments rather than the big things. She has the innocence of a child. Everyone she meets is her best friend. If she ever tells you that she thinks of you as family, consider yourself the luckiest being on the planet because life does not get better than being loved by her.

When she loves, there are no bounds. She’s the one with the heart twice the size of the Universe. She’s the one who will be there for anyone who needs her. She’s the one who puts every ounce of energy she’s got into every one of her friendships and relationships. She’s the one that will always look at the one good deed you do instead of the million bad ones. She’s the one that will believe in you when no one else does. She’s the one that will always have a smile for you on a gloomy day. She’s the one that giggles like a child and cooks like a genius. She’s the one that can do anything she puts her mind to. She’s the one that will never depend on you to make her mood better. She’s the one that blows my mind with the amount of strength she finds in herself. She’s the one that picked me up on the day I was born and said to herself, “This is my daughter and I will love, cherish and protect her till the end of my life and maybe even after,” and has lived by those words.

If twenty years from now, I can be half the woman you are, finding a reason to laugh everyday, having the strength to fight not just your own but everyone’s battles for them and having the heart the size of the Universe but never realizing what an incredible human being you are, I would consider myself a blessed person, dear Mother.

Thank you for all that you do to make my life better everyday.

Life Choices : Choose Happiness

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My friend and I were just having a very heated argument about life choices. The guy I have the world’s biggest crush on works at a giant corporate and gets paid a pretty decent amount. He can ask the company to send him a cab every morning to take him to work and back, he gets a bonus for every holiday, health insurance – pretty much the whole package. Here’s the catch : He hates his job ! He always talks about how every minute he spends there he feels like he’s going insane. So why on Earth can he not quit his job and do something he loves? “The money it pays.”

I’m an intern at an advertising agency. I don’t get paid at all. But I find a reason to wake up every morning and show up here because I love what I do. Isn’t that what life is supposed to be like? Doesn’t every person deserve the right to happiness? Should money really dictate his life? That was my side of the argument when my friend fired back at me, “What about his family crisis? What if they need the money he makes?” I did not have an answer to that. So I paused as I ran that idea through my mind. My parents don’t expect my money. So I can make a choice that makes me happy. But can everyone afford to do that? Can everyone choose to be selfish when in fact, maybe his parents have been waiting for him to graduate so he can contribute to the income in his household? How can I suggest that he stop doing that?

Here’s how. Sure, they need the money. But parents who have waited for four years for him to complete his university, can wait a few more for him to make this kind of money again. Except, this time around, he’ll make that money happily. My friend got a job that he loves. But he can’t take it. I asked him why and he told me that his dad had made a comment : “When you’re getting your sister married, you expect the guy to have triple degrees. What’s to say that the girl who marries you won’t expect the same of you? You have to study more.” (This is in accordance to the Indian arranged marriage system) But shouldn’t the girl he’s with care that her husband is someone that is mentally happy and peaceful? Should she just look at his bank account? Should he marry someone like that?

My crush isn’t the only person I’ve known to complain of these things. My friends who work in similar companies pretty much all hate their jobs. “I have to work weekends.” “I have to work night shifts.” “I don’t get a holiday for New Year.” But why? If majority of the employees feel this way, why can’t the companies make a difference? What are the organizations doing that keeps their employees so mentally depressed and stressed? Why aren’t the employees (who are in majority) taking a stand against it and saying “I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY !” ?

My dad’s friend was talking about how his son had quit Harvard Law to pursue music, about how much he hated his son for giving up what so many other kids in this world would kill for. But in the end, he understood that his son is now happy. He smiled at his happiness. He said “Isn’t that what we parents want in the end? A happy child?!” I assure you three quarters of the parents in this world are no different to this one. They might be furious in the beginning, but in the end, they’ll be happy that you’re happy. So why is it so difficult for us to make this choice?

Why do we fail to see thirty years into the future? You need the money now. Sure. You’re unhappy now, but you earn enough to save for the future. What future? You’re not going to quit when you’re forty and take a trip around the world. You’re stuck in a job you hate already and thirty years from now, you’re still going to be stuck in a job you hate. Only then, you’ll be taking your stress and depression home and instead of depressing only yourself, you’re going to be depressing your entire family.

So think wisely now. Make life choices not based on financials or current situation, but plan them for what your life would be like ten or fifteen years from now. Choose to be happy rather than rich. When you’re working out of your mind with no time for anyone, you’re not living. But even if you don’t make enough money and don’t live in a fancy beach side duplex, when you’re happy, you’ll attract people and those people will always be there for you. You’ll have all the love in the world. Isn’t that what life’s all about anyway?!

“Wait Till You’re 21 !”

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This is what my father said to me when I was 13.. You want to smoke? Get a tattoo? Get laid? Go to a movie alone with a boy? Get married? Pick a life partner? Wait till you’re 21 ! I didn’t understand it. I knew my mind wouldn’t change. I knew who I was and I swore I will always be that person.

But I waited. Not for all those things, but for most of it, I did. Out of respect for my father’s words. Out of curiosity to see what would change. Also, because I never got the chance to try certain things until I turned 21.

When I was 15, my parents said, “Don’t do anything that you can’t take back.” I thought my decisions were well thought of at that point in time and didn’t really think I’d ever want to take them back.

When I was 17, my classmate eloped with a man ten years older than her. My parents talked about how wrong it was. Back then, the only bad thing I thought wrong in that entire ordeal was “eloping.” I thought she could have asked her parents’ permission to get married instead of running away.

When I was 18, my boyfriend told me, “Your friends might do a gazillion different things. But do note, they’re all older than you. So wait. Wait another year or two. See how you feel about things then. Your mind will change, my love. I promise.” He was a psychiatrist, so I decided to believe him.

Now, I’m 21. Last night, I sat with my father and had a long conversation where I, very very regretfully had to admit, he had been right. I am glad I took his advise and waited.

I’m not the person I was at 15. At 15, I thought I knew it all. But even now, I’m only learning about myself.

Now I know, the fact that my classmate “eloped” wasn’t what was wrong. The fact that she got married at 17 was. There are things you only learn about yourself and the world with time. With life experiences comes maturity. A guy once told my dad that astrologically it’s better to get me married before I turn 19. I was so excited ! I couldn’t wait. When 19 happened, I asked my dad if I could get married and he said “Wait. Wait till you’re 21. If you want to get married at 21, come ask me and I’ll give you permission.” I don’t know why, but I didn’t rebel. I believed if he insisted so much, he must have a point. My curiosity took over my excitement. Two years will go by pretty fast and in no time, I’ll be married, I thought to myself.

On my 21st birthday, my dad asked me if I wanted to get married. I freaked out. I had a life, a goal, an ambition ! I wanted to make something out of myself before I could settle down. How do I share a life I don’t have, with someone? I still live with my parents. I have no job. My career is yet to begin. When the guy requests me to tell him about myself, I wonder “Who am I?” It’s the most difficult question in a resume even. But above all, I was immature. I still am. I am not ready to make a choice I can’t take back. (I do not believe in divorce.)

At 17, she wasn’t ready to get married. Her brain wasn’t done growing. Her life hadn’t really begun for her to be able to share it with someone. She didn’t know that. She didn’t have the maturity to know that.

All that was fancy at 18, I now don’t like. I don’t judge my friends for living their lives the way they did. But I’m not them. I don’t want to do what they did.

It’s funny when you think about it. In certain ways, you’re exactly who you were as a teenager. In some ways, you couldn’t be more different.

I still want a tattoo but not now. I know it’s ok to smoke. But not in public because the society I live in will blame my parents for not raising their daughter right and that’s not ok. I know to be careful about who I’m taking with me to a movie theatre. I know who not to trust. I know I’m not ready to get married because I’m not ready to share my life. I’m not ready to make a plan and settle down. There’s so much of this world that I want to see, learn and understand. I am young and I need to make the best of it.

I also know, I’m glad I listened to my parents. I’m glad I waited till 21 !

Like the saying goes “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be..!” So don’t rush to grow up. It’ll always be there waiting for you..