Tag: birthday

Every Birthday A New Beginning ?

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The only thing worse than a New Year’s resolution is a Birthday resolution.

We have all faced the Moment of Truth – The ‘What am I doing with my life’ moment – when you compare where you wanted to be with where you are and then make a whole bunch of resolutions for the year ahead that you know deep inside your heart you will not follow.

“You’re a year older now. You have to be more responsible.” Every time I hear that, I feel the need to reply “I’m only a day older than I was yesterday. No hurry here.” But nobody ever thinks of it in quite that manner. It’s always a year older.

I had goals. A list of things to do before I turned 21. I’m 22 now and I’ve done close to nothing on that list. That does not mean I’ve failed. It simply means my priorities have changed. It means that I’ve learnt to differentiate between my wants and my needs; my desires and my dreams.

Someone called me on my birthday and asked, “So, what have you done with 22 years?” To her I said, “Nothing.” But then I asked myself that question – What have I done in 22 years?

We all have answers to such questions. Simple ones. There are people that have become internet sensations. There are the musicians with Grammy nominations. The ones that almost cured cancer. So what have I done?

The most important thing to realize when you ask yourself this question is that you don’t have to win a Grammy to prove a point. For some of us, getting through the day is a form of success. The first five years of my life, I learnt to behave like a human – it is an achievement when you realize the world is now called a concrete jungle. I’m not an animal. I’m human and I behave like one.

The second five years of my life, I understood the dynamics and working of a dysfunctional family. The third five years of my life I made mistakes that arose from being a rebellious teenager. The next five I spent making amends and fixing the relationships I’d damaged during the previous five. And now..

The fifth five – 20 to 25 – I am figuring out who I am. I am learning to accept myself no matter what the world says. I may not be an internet sensation, I may not be the next Beyonce and I sure as hell ain’t curing cancer. I’m not going to find my knight in shining armor and you will not see my name on T.I.M.E’s 100 most inspiring list. But I have achieved something in 22 years that many people I know live a lifetime not knowing – I get to wake up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and smile.

Do you remember the days when our teachers used to give us a deadline for homework? Kids are supposed to love everything in life. But I don’t remember the last time a kid loved a deadline. What makes you think it changes when you grow up? How can you set a deadline for your life and expect to follow it when you can’t remember the last time you wanted to?

Most of us have the privilege of not knowing when we die just so we don’t live hating life. So why do we insist on doing this to ourselves year after year?

You will always be older than you were. But you will never be younger than you are. So maybe it’s time to stop making lists. And just live.

My birthday is not a new beginning. My lists no longer exist. I refuse to force myself to grow up and mature into a world that calls itself a concrete jungle. So instead of setting a deadline, let me make a confession :

I am a 22-year-old adult that likes scribbling on walls, hates chocolates, enjoys dressing up, loves Barbie dolls, has exactly 11 best friends and is the laziest person I know. My achievement is my ability to put up with all the crap the world gives me because they do not understand how someone can be happy being who they are and not give into what the society believes a 22-year-old should be like. My success is not defined by the awards in my room. It is defined by the people that love me for who I am. So it’s sappy and cheesy. But given the choice, I would pick The Notebook over Jurassic Park any day !

The Coincidental 22

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Do you believe in fate? Do you believe that everything around us happens for a reason and nothing is random? Do you believe in a predestined future? Or would you rather believe in coincidence?

Tomorrow, the 22nd of September, marks my 22nd birthday. “22 on 22” has been yet another reason for excitement this year. I have noticed this pattern before and this year has been no different. Everything in my life happens on a 22.

I was born on 22. My first day of pre-school was on 22. My first day of high school in the US was on September 22. My first day at university was August 22. There are so many significant days in my life that are all 22. Does it even come as a surprise that my recent song addiction is Taylor Swift’s 22?!

It’s funny how some things in our lives are too detailed to be coincidental but too irrelevant to be destiny. So many significant moments began on the 22nd. But not all of them ended well. I did enjoy pre-school and kindergarten, but I grew up to hate school. My experience as a high school student in the US was so bad (partly my fault) and I never would revisit it again. I never completed university even though I loved every part of it. So is this a sign that I should steer clear of anything that has to do with 22?

But then again, I was born on a 22.

When I decided that this year my birthday will be low-key and family only, my friend decided to bunk work and spend the day with me because he thought some thing had to be out of the ordinary that day. Why? What makes me so special? Why should the day I was born be out of the ordinary?

I answered that question in a playful way by saying “Oh you know, I blessed this Earth with my incredible presence on that day. So it ought to be celebrated !” You can imagine my father’s face fill with sarcasm right about now. But my grandmother went ahead and said, “You’re right. You are an incredible presence and you have given me such incredible moments in my life. Your birthday must be made special.”

Ever wonder why out of all the people in the world – the uptight neighbor, the lonely rich kid, the regretful juvenile, the girl on 16 and pregnant, Miley Cyrus – you were born into this particular family, in this city, with the friends you have around you? You have changed their lives whether you acknowledge it or not. Was it predestined? Were they meant to tread a different path but some power of the Universe chose to mix them with you? Or was it just a random pick? A drifted coincidence that nobody thinks twice about?

Coincidence by Wikipedia – A coincidence (often stated as a mere coincidence) is a collection of two or more events or conditions, closely related by time, space, form, or other associations which appear unlikely to bear a relationship as either cause to effect or effects of a shared cause, within the observer’s or observers’ understanding of what cause can produce what effects.

So it is a coincidence that everything in my life is connected to 22? That MY LIFE began on a 22?

Have you ever met someone and thought to yourself ‘we were meant to meet at that exact time so you could be here at this point in my life’ ? Not necessarily a lover. Was it predestined that you met them when you did or was it a mere coincidence that you happened to just bump into each other on that day or click on the other’s profile on a social networking site randomly?

Tomorrow marks the beginning of an entire year of 22. Last year, I couldn’t have written about this. I didn’t have a blog, a platform to express my thoughts on the 22’s of my life. Is it a coincidence that I have it now? At 22?

When we think about it, there are so many simple moments – the day we meet our best friend, our first trip alone, the restaurant you go to, the family you were born into, the love of your life – there is always the question – destiny? Or coincidence?

Was it because you were meant to meet these people? Was it because you were at the right place at the right time? Or was it simply a predestined coincidence?