Dear 15-year-old Me

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Dear 15-year-old Me,

Don’t do it.

Don’t trust that boy in a broke-down car. The words he utters are not to melt your heart. It is to melt your pants.

Remember, his friends aren’t your friends. His friends are his friends. They will always be his friends. Don’t tell them secrets he doesn’t know. He will know.

I know your adrenaline’s pumping, but don’t sneak out that door at 2am. It’s not worth the trouble. Enjoy that beauty sleep while you still can. Adult life has a lot of sleepless nights in store for you.

If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Don’t give yourself an excuse. Blaming your parents for your actions does not make them any better. You’ll wish you’d listened to yourself in five years’ time.

And even though it feels like it, you’re not in love. You’re seeing stars where there’s glitter. Love doesn’t come in crappy forward texts. It doesn’t bloom the moment his hands are where they shouldn’t be. Love isn’t an excuse to make out. He may tell you otherwise. Don’t let your infatuation cloud your mind.

Your parents aren’t your enemies. They don’t know how to handle this version of you but they’re still right. They’re not ruining your “life experiences.” Don’t alienate them. You’ll kick yourself for it later.

School is important. College matters. Don’t skip classes. If not for the lessons, at least for the memories. When your friends reminisce about them at 20, you’ll feel left out.

Don’t pick a date over dinner with your family. He’s not looking for a relationship. And it’s okay. He marries someone ugly and goes bald in seven years. You’ll be happier this way.

Pick your friends wisely. Don’t forget, the ones who love you will be honest about that skirt being a little too short in the back and his hands being a little too low around your shoulder. Learn the difference.

Your aunts aren’t the greatest. Your extended family isn’t royalty. But, on a bad day with no money, they’ll still be there for you. Don’t show off your unreasonable arrogance to them. They might forgive you. You won’t.

So you’re single. Don’t get a boyfriend because she has one. Having a boyfriend is not a definition of your beauty or desirability. It is not a matter of social status. It is personal. It is emotional. Let it happen in its own time.

Allow yourself a little “loserdom.” It’s okay if your hair isn’t amazing. It’s okay if your grades aren’t the best. It’s okay if you don’t have a squad. So what if she’s the most popular kid in class? It ends. You grow up. You get your own lives. Don’t get caught up in your high school labels. They don’t last very long.

That kid you thought was an asshole? He works for your country. He’s kind and giving. That girl who dated your crush and was the hottest girl in town? She gets pushed into a life she doesn’t like. She’d give anything to have your freedom of choice. Don’t let yourself get swayed by who people are right now. They change.

You will change too.

You’ll be better. You’ll be kinder. You’ll develop a better sense of fashion. (Thank goodness!) You’ll chase your dreams without being afraid. You’ll fall in love. You’ll get your heart broken. And you know what the best part is? You’ll be strong enough to keep going. You won’t stop.

You’ll find friends who love you for you. You’ll date men who treat you well.

There is so much of life that’s waiting to be lived. And don’t scowl or make a sarcastic remark at that. You think you know it all. But you don’t. You don’t know the beautiful views you’ll fall asleep to. Or the books you’ll read. The words you’ll write. The moments you’ll live.

And on your worst day, you will find yourself. You will find all that you are. It will be chaos.

But you’ll know how to accept that.

This life you’re living, it’s nothing like the one you’ll live. Or the one you want.

So stop the crazy. Enjoy your moments. And let yourself be 15. You only have the rest of your life to be an adult.

Be a teenager today.

And listen to your heart when it says, “Don’t do it.”

With all my love and life lessons,

23-year-old You.

 

58 thoughts on “Dear 15-year-old Me”

  1. Pingback: ​Of old friends, newly minted acquaintances and LASTMA – Tendrils
  4. Anjali Soni says:
    Reply

    How beautifully said! You know what? The moment I had stumbled upon your blog, I had always loved the way you described even the minutest details of a particular subject. I LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE. (I had to write in capital so as to let you know that the feeling is huge!!) I look up to you to get inspired and improve myself. Keep up the good work! And don’t forget to smile!

  5. namitha says:
    Reply

    Omg! This almost made me emotional….I absolutely loved this post! It’s probably the best advice you can give to a 15 year old !(can kinda tell cause I’m 15 😉)

  8. Sparkyjen says:
    Reply

    Some of us get to grow up in a home with a family who cares about us, and who often gets the short end of the stick when it comes to our love and loyalty. But when we get into trouble, we want them to come to our rescue. Thus, is the life of some teenagers. Others don’t have any support at home, these are the ones that are the parents themselves. They have to survive any way they can, and hopefully also keep the adults in the family together too. It’s hard being this type of teenager, because this type has to grow up too fast. They want a life-line too. Hopefully, it isn’t offered by some low-life who only wants what they want, and uses the “need” in the aforementioned teenager to take advantage. Then there’s the teenager [like I was] who saw better opportunity taking off at 15. Now I’m almost 61, and through all the hard knocks of life have come out mostly unscathed and wiser. I’m not sure what I would have told my 15 year old self, ’cause it was a different time back then. One thing I know for sure, I learned to survive. This must be learned BEFORE you learn about living. You have to learn what you don’t want before you learn what you do. You have to learn what you do need, before you learn what you don’t. It’s wonderful if you can learn by example, but someone else’s experience is theirs, not yours. It looks great on paper. Life ain’t made of paper. No matter, it’s my hope that those looking for a lifeline will read and possibly take some of the advice you’ve shared in your post. That way they may make it to adulthood with some of their own wisdom to share. Peace Be Still ***

    • LoudThoughtsVoicedOut says:
      Reply

      I always love reading the comments you write. I was in-between the first and the second versions. I cannot explain how easy it is to be swayed by the words of a man who uses the teenage insecurities and need for assurance to his benefit. I always wondered if I’d tell my fifteen year old version that she’ll regret her mistakes but I think I got to a point where I realised – I didn’t need one more person telling me I’m wrong. I needed someone to tell me I will be okay in the long run. Hence the letter. 🙂 Thank you for reading and for your comment 😀

      • Sparkyjen says:

        I enjoyed reading your letter. It’s a nice wholesome addition to your blog. And for younger folks who need to feel that they are OK, or will be OK in the long run…spot on!

  10. Gemma says:
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    Ah I loved this!! As a 23 year old too I can definitely relate, although I suppose making some of those mistakes is what being a teen is all about! I loved the phrase ‘You’re seeing stars where there’s glitter’, so well put 🙂 looking forward to reading more of your blog, hope you’ll check out/follow mine https://myhappycornerblog.wordpress.com

  14. Mary says:
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    Wonderful words of advice. We look back at our teen years and see all the things we stressed about and it all seemed so VERY IMPORTANT at the time. It is funny though, and this has happened to me, those who wouldn’t have anything to do with you in high school later on in adulthood, want to talk about old times like you were best friends. Mind you, this person was a popular cheerleader who turned her nose up at me several times in high school. I see her one day the park with my kids and she starts talking to me like we were good friends. As unimportant as it may be, I still remember that she snubbed me all those years ago so I kept my guard up with her the whole time.

    • LoudThoughtsVoicedOut says:
      Reply

      Thank you so much 😀
      I had that happen to me as well! This girl who I knew hated my guts at school met me at a cafe and couldn’t stop acting like she’d been my best friend all along. I literally was looking around to see if there were hidden cameras.

  15. LeTaraWrites says:
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    Very beautifully written and so much truth in this! Fortunately, most of these things I didn’t have to say to my 15 year old self. Unfortunately, I can say to my 21 year old self. (I was a late social bloomer). Anyway, this post was thoughtful and truthful. I enjoyed reading it as I reflected on my own youth and how so many others, including myself, can relate to in some way. Thank you for sharing this!

    • LoudThoughtsVoicedOut says:
      Reply

      I’ve known a few friends who could relate to this at 21 or 22. In a way, I’m glad I was done with it at 15. In a conservative Indian society, 21 is too close to the age where we get married. And everyone would have remembered this and gossiped about this. But now it’s been almost 9 years and I’ve done so many other stupid things, they’ve forgotten my rebellious streak. (And I am grateful for that.)
      Thank you so much for reading and your comment 😀
      xoxo

  16. Hardik Golakiya says:
    Reply

    Couldn’t have been better than this. The level best. Amazingly beautiful choice of words. Claps. And a few more claps.
    D’you mind if I write from a boy’s point of view? With my inputs.
    Sorry but some mistakes too. (In language. Writing level is way up.)
    Would love to write that one.

  21. Ysobel Luna says:
    Reply

    I find it the contrast between our viewpoints fascinating. While you wish your younger self hadn’t done it, here I am wishing my younger self did. I wish I had snuck out at 2 am to watch my crush making a fool of himself as hot-headed fifteen year-olds do. It makes me think about how dynamic we all are and how different our lives turn out when we make different choices.

    I love your writing. Thank you for this wonderfully evocative piece!

    • LoudThoughtsVoicedOut says:
      Reply

      I have moments where I’m glad I did it because it’s made me who I am today. But as a whole, I definitely think the adventure would’ve been better a little older because there’s so much you can’t take back in life.
      Thank you for reading ❤

  23. itsmayurremember says:
    Reply

    I wonder what would you write to yourself after 7 years now.

    Secondly, how is it possible that regardless of who writes a letter: there are always regrets written? There are has to be good family experiences, good friends, good guys?

  24. Little Sunshine says:
    Reply

    Wow this really touched me! I read every single word with my breath held… You literally described my teens in one post… Wow. Just wow.
    Those are some absolutely amazing pieces of advice I think still apply today and when you are older. Thank you so so much for this post. You not only inspired me today, but you made me feel so so so much better. Thank you for that. You words were like an immediate healing band-aid!
    I just absolutely love your blog and your words. You can´t imagine how much they mean to me.

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